I live in Bristol, and I didn't make the big demo when Colston fell, or any of the other ones. I have been thinking a lot about what's going on, and here is a letter to black people explaining some of my, perhaps even our (ie, white people's) thought processes. White leftists should read it as well, although it is not addressed to them.
I don't know if it's even called for - but I have to say something, I have to explain myself.
I'm chicken. I'm afraid of catching and / or spreading COVID-19, I'm afraid of having my head stoved in, I'm afraid of ending up in a boring, pointless time suck of a poxy leftie demo, and, I have to admit, to my shame, to some extent I'm afraid of black people. (If it's any consolation, I'm not that crazy about whites, either.)
I really did think there was a chance that the demo could turn into a violent settling of scores. I'd seen footage of the disturbances in London, something like 17 coppers badly battered and who knows how many demonstrators (in one clip, I saw a horse bolting into the crowd) - and while I happen to know there are indeed legitimate scores to be settled between Bristol's black community and the local cops, I don't desire to join in. I guess you could say that was my white privelige - as a middle aged white man I do not have any personal beef with the cops and my heart just wouldn't be in it. Also, I don't want to get arrested.
In my defence, I also have to say that I am very mouthy and have a very short temper, especially when it comes to this sort of thing. I can easily see myself getting into a situation where I could cause trouble for other people. I've also been known to go off half cocked at my own side. I didn't think the protest needed an angry white man who likes to make everything about himself - it's not for me to say what black people should do at their own demos!
My background, politically speaking, is Marxist. We Marxists don't have a lot of time for discussions about race. It makes us feel uncomfortable. Our stock response tends to be of the "we're all the same, unite and fight" variety, and we see racism as an unpleasant throwback to pre-modern times which the ruling classes use as a distraction from The Class Struggle, which is our main, if not our only concern.
We're a lot more like the unconsciously racist white liberals than we like to think - we see ourselves as allies, sure, but we complain incessantly about being "guilt tripped" and frequently refer to Black struggles as "a distraction", even a "bourgeois" one.
You are, it should go without saying, not a bourgeois distraction.
We need to listen and think
That is what we are like. We don't generally want to be assholes and we're not generally personally racist, but it's definitely true that many of us are reluctant to listen and learn, and the racism of the wider society does trickle down to us. I suppose we are all a little bit racist.
I for one appreciate the patience and restraint of Black activists. Again, we genuinely want to help - but there is indeed resistance. Nobody likes being told home truths about themselves.
Anyone who is involved in politics is liable to be somewhat narcissistic - it's a peril of the trade. That certainly goes for me. Narcissists don't like to listen and think - they (we?) already know we are the centre of the universe and that we know everything. We have an opinion about everything, even, sometimes especially, things we know nothing about. We like to make things about ourselves.
But it's not a futile effort. We may be narcissistic, but most of us are not full on, medically diagnosable narcissists. We can be reached. We were all shocked and horrified by the murder of George Floyd and the current situation is teaching us, slowly but surely.
Please bear with us.
White Privilege
About a year or so ago, I had several conversations online about White Privilege. This was in the context of the Extinction Rebellion protests and the lack of Black involvement. I strongly resisted the notion that I, a long term benefit claimant, ex-homeless, resident of a council estate, was in any way "privileged". What about Barack Obama? My opinion was that White Privilege was a middle class, academic construct designed to divide people and detract from The Class Struggle with grievance politics.
I was wrong.
I now understand that the white privilege isn't that you get to live in a cramped council flat - it's that you get to live at all.
White Privilege isn't that you get to live in shitty squats for years on end because you are homeless - it's that you get to break into empty buildings and change the locks on a regular basis without getting arrested. Why do you think there are so few black squatters?
White Privilege isn't that you get to interact with coppers without fearing arrest - it's that you get to interact with the police without fearing death.
Yes, people do get aggravated in online discussions - don't you? In fact, that's another privilege we whites enjoy - we get to be pissed off. When white people are all pissed off, we're "just blowing off steam" or at most, "trolling" - when black people are all pissed off, you've "got a chip on your shoulder", and are "causing drama". I appreciate this now.
I am so, so sorry. I love you all.
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